How high or low is your self-esteem? There are many interpretations of self-esteem that has people, especially women, confused and unhappy with themselves. Most people think self-esteem has to do with how popular you are, what you have accomplished in life, or how you look. Our self-esteem is instilled in us during our youth and being criticized by family, friends and society can strip that away from us. Simply put: self-esteem means to appreciate yourself for who you are (yes, even the flaws).
Here are three steps that personally helped me gained self-esteem.
Step #1: Work on Improving Yourself
When I first started going to counseling, she told me one of the ways to improve self-esteem is to spend time working (focusing) on myself rather than focusing (or trying to be like) everyone else. I had followed others for so long that I did not even know what I liked when I wasn't around them. Self-esteem is not only knowing your strengths and weaknesses. You should open yourself up to new opportunities, trying something new, new thoughts and actions, and new friendships.
One of the first things I did was changed my wardrobe (not all at once). I went from dark, lifeless colors to something more bright and open. I tried styles that I thought I wouldn't like to find that I loved how they complimented my body. I found that dressing nicely made me appreciate my physical appearance more. Next step, I cut my hair. I had went out on a limb with this because I wanted a change but it raised my self-esteem because people complimented on it every day.
I started exercising. Since I had my son four years ago, I still hadn't lost all the baby fat from the pregnancy and I dreaded my body every day for it. "Danny," I said. "If you want to feel better about yourself, you need to get your ass to the gym." And I did. Exercise is an excellent way to boost self-esteem and gives you more energy for your day. If you would rather not go alone, bring a friend!
Step #2: Stand Out
When you look for the best in others, you bring out the best in yourself. Walk up to a random person and compliment them. You will not only feel better that you did but you will brighten up their day (and may initially) boost their self-esteem as well.
Start speaking up for yourself and others. There is nothing like a shot to confidence when you let someone else bring you down.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
-Eleanor Roosevelt
Giving back to others, not only helps you, but helps someone else in the process. It is always a good thing to help with volunteers, projects, or a listening ear. People will notice you more and you may be awarded for your efforts.
Step #3: Ban the Negativity
Are you always around negative people? Are you in a negative environment? Remove them. Self-esteem is hurt more by negative aspects in your life than anything else and continually staying in the environment could lead to depression. Face your fears and learn from your mistakes.
Your opinion of yourself is what matter most of all. Start from within. Forget everything that has happened in the past. Stop with the negative thoughts. If you constantly tell yourself, "I am not good enough.", you are always going to feel that way. My husband told me to tell myself that I am beautiful every day in the mirror. The more I did it, the more I believed it. Put more positive thoughts in your head, say them aloud to yourself every day and start believing.
If you can't start big, start small. Take baby steps when reaching for your self-esteem. Trust yourself and go with whatever feels right to you.
One of the most important things about self-esteem is to Be Yourself.
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